Have you seen any moms wearing backpacks lately?
Have you seen any moms wearing backpacks lately?
Adele already won a Grammy tonight. For best song— for Rolling in the Deep End.
Are you tired like you’ve been doing too much, or like you have mono? Cause I don’t want you to get mono.
(the call I received 10 minutes after I said I was taking a nap)
No mono, just a college student. Thanks for the concern, though, Mom.
If everyone in your class is weird, you can always go work at the froyo store.
Don’t do anything dumb. You tend to flirt and do stupid things when you’re upset.
Love is bigger than your own eggs and sperm.
Thanks, Mom.
(on love and infertility. obviously.)
I heard that sugar causes cellulite, and no offense, but since you stopped eating sugar… Well, your legs look so good. They were looking pretty thick.
Oh no. My beans have no gas in them.
In response to a discussion about her chili.
Thanks, Mom.
Mom: Low vitamin D means u never feel full vitamin d equals statisfied… huh
Mom: sugar is addictive….watching this dr on cable….
Mom: use food to heal yr mind…
Mom: beans beans beans eat from the rainbow avocado blueberries
—Thanks, Mom.
Think about it— when someone is juggling balls, one is down while two are up. Life’s the same way.
Thanks, Mom. Your analogy actually works quite well.
(about why I shouldn’t focus on boys right now)
